Rosary vs Evil

Yesterday, I had a really good visit with God. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot of a strip mall while my son participated in a 3-hour Krav Maga workshop. I was planning on finding a nearby coffee shop to sit and catch up on my reading, but it was such a cool and pleasant day that my car provided the comfy solitude I was looking for. So I just stayed put and got to reading. After two hours of reading a training manual, I was ready for something a bit less dry.

I brought with me a book I picked up as an impulse buy at a local Catholic book store. It’s called, Discovering the feminine genius – Every Woman’s Journey by Katrina J. Zeno. This book is written for a group study with questions at the end of each chapter. In Chapter 1, Zeno urges her readers to question our view of God the Father. To do so, she asks the reader to imagine approaching the throne of God. God gets up from his throne, comes down to you and takes your hand. He walks with you hand and hand up to His throne but stops at one of the stairs. He sits down and you sit down next to Him. He asks you how you feel about Him.

I tell God that I have always felt like I was a disappointment to Him. He gave me a functional family and a good life and I spent most of it not giving Him the due He deserved. I was taught about Him but did not know Him and I am sure that this has hurt Him. God then asks, “How do you feel I failed you? Tears begin rolling down my eyes. I say, “ I feel like I have wasted most of my life in selfishness. I don’t understand why You didn’t come to my rescue sooner.” More thoughts along this came to mind. I read the last sentence of the chapter:

When you are done, see the Father stand up, pick you up, and enfold you in His arms. Feel the warmth of the universe surround you and hear Him say in your ear, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry my daughter, for all the pain and suffering you endured.”

I sat in my car and in the quiet realized that the hurts and betrayals I received in my innocence hurt Him just as much. I realized that I was given many opportunities to come to Him since I was at the age of reason but chose to go my own way. I realized it was not His plan for me not to sense He was near me always, but original sin and my choices that kept me from seeing Him. I felt His love but still not satisfied as to why it took so long and what made me finally feel His loving Presence.

Last night, I was flipping the channel and came across a story about Our Lady of Fatima. A bishop is speaking about how saying the Rosary for the conversion of souls can open hearts through the intercession of Mary. Hmmm, I wonder, could it have been that my Mother’s lifelong recitations of the Rosary were the reason I finally felt Him? Could it have been a complete stranger’s dutiful devotion? Mary’s legion of blue army soldiers working diligently to convert the world to Her Son through their Rosary prayers? Could it possibly be true that saying the Rosary is the biggest weapon against evil? Could something so simple be so victorious?

I don’t know the answer yet, but I am willing to try my hand at it. I do pray the Rosary, but not in the dutiful and devotional way it is required. I don’t think until now, I perceived its potential power. I’m intrigued enough, though, to try for myself. I may never know if I save a soul by kneeling and praying the Rosary in the quiet of my bedroom, but I have learned that there are no coincidences in life and I was shown that television show for a reason. I trust and will use my “weapon” to enter the narrow gate.